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Daniel Stories

Intro ] [ Mornings ] [ Of Cats and Dogs ]

Up: Daniel Lamblin ]

      Let's take a look inside of Daniel's mind for a moment. Let's picture his thoughts best we can as an instant message conversation between him and his Conscience. The scene starts with Daniel rediscovering his instant message account.

Conscience: Ooo
Daniel: do you have any idea why it disconnects sporadically?
Conscience: hrm... dunno
Conscience: could be the firewall doing something weird
Conscience: the Java one is a bit flaky sometimes
Daniel: perhaps; but previously this hardly worked; at least its functioning
Conscience: that's good
Conscience: for some reason this seems much more natural than calling you...
Daniel: I was culling some old login info not yet in my palm and I found this login all over again;
Daniel: yeah, the phone sucks
Conscience: good... frustrating when you forget passwords and stuff
Daniel: yup; well I'm going to get back to doing stuff
Conscience: good idea
Daniel: if you didn't noticed I had popped out to check my battery at the K-mart auto thingy they claimed it was the battery's fault
Conscience: did they test anything?
Daniel: well yeah... but I don't know whether they did everything right
Conscience: did they try to sell you a battery?
Daniel: none the less my battery was apparently 6 years old
Daniel: yeah; I ended up getting one... for now it works; they said if it turns out thats not the case later, they'll take it back and refund me... though that wouldn't solve much
Conscience: well, if its not the battery its most likely the alternator
Conscience: but I would have made the trip to Sears for a nice Die Hard
Daniel: seems like it; since with a freshly charged battery there's no other trouble.
Daniel: why Die Hard?
Conscience: good battery, good warranty
Daniel: oh. I got a 7 year warranty; is that comparable?
Conscience: and even if the problem is the alternator a fresh battery will supply the power for a while... it'll take some time for you to find out for sure
Conscience: 7 years sounds dandy
Conscience: Sears has just done a wonderful job of branding Die Hard... car battery = Die Hard for me... I'm such a tool sometimes
Conscience: and there are Sears stores everywhere so if anything goes wrong its easy to take care of...
Conscience: I suppose it doesn't really matter
Daniel: okay; I didn't know but it sounded good to me. Yeah At first I asked if it was a Die Hard, but obviously thats a Sears thing
Daniel: that is a plus though with Sears being everywhere
Conscience: but isn't it fun for me to ramble on about it?
Daniel: sure; which reminds me, this pager could use some color coding
Conscience: ?
Conscience: pager?
Daniel: oh I meant Yahoo Messenger
Conscience: oh... weird, mine's in color
Conscience: stupid Java developers
Conscience: hrm... that would work really well for discouraging use of a language... write a bunch of apps that really suck and blame the language
Daniel: yeah it would; must be that lots of people into Java are overall inexperienced in design; too bad really
Conscience: yup
Conscience: they should be beaten with wet dogs
Daniel: or managers think Java makes things so easy they can rush the developers; who end up leaving out the niceties
Conscience: they should be beaten with wet cats
Daniel: wet dogs? cats? its not raining is it?
Conscience: not that I know of
Conscience: wet dogs and cats are like wet noodles but much worse
Daniel: yeah... noodles don't have claws OR teeth
Conscience: yup
Conscience: and wet dogs smell really bad
Conscience: but cats are worse cause they stick
Daniel: I'm so glad it rarely rained in Dubai. That way our collie never got soaked.
Conscience: wasn't it always dusty though?
Conscience: and isn't it mean to have a collie in a desert climate?
Conscience: you cruel bastard!
Daniel: yeah it was, but cats are cleansly, and the collie can be dealt with using a brush.
Daniel: yeah it was mean; but it was an abandoned stray collie we took it.
Daniel: er in
Conscience: Kindest sort of cruel
Daniel: I guess. we did shear it once for a month, but it looked so sad sometimes with only a mane of hair around its neck.
Conscience: you are a sick bunch of people
Daniel: and the cats suddenly didn't recognize it.
Daniel: Hey it did act more comfortable with only short fuzz
Conscience: if I ever get a dog and if it has hair, you just leave it alone
Daniel: alrighty; besides some Australian dude actually sheared it; he ran a sheep farm and was on vacation.
Conscience: jeesh, you invite your neighbors in on the fun, heh?
Daniel: I don't know... it was a while ago; I think our vet recommended shearing
Conscience: never trust those desert vets
Daniel: weren't we talking about batteries?
Conscience: yup
Daniel: how'd this come up then?
Conscience: I dunno, let me peek back in time for a sec...
Conscience: wet dogs and cats
Daniel: oh yeah
Conscience: yup... its really your fault for complaining about the lack of color
Conscience: in the Java version of Yahoo Messenger
Daniel: But I really wish they'd put in at least something to differentiate my name and yours
Conscience: yup, you are blue here and I am black
Conscience: makes things pretty damn easy
Conscience: hey, what does this line look like?
Daniel: damn. everything is just black 10pt Helvetica font kinda hard to follow
Conscience: sorry, I tried to make it red for ya
Daniel: nope its ignoring coloring it seems; must be using a preset text scrolling window thingy
Conscience: yup
Daniel: well, I'm going to try and code now
Conscience: yeah, sure ya are
Daniel: I am. I'm going to close the window
Conscience: night nite

So, what can we learn from this?

  1. Don't let Daniel near your pets when there's an Australian sheep farmer around.

  2. We should come up with a good way for Daniel to differentiate the voices in his head.


Little Daniel

by: Keith A. Pray
Last Modified: January 28, 2010 3:59 AM
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